ZAGYG'S DECK OF NOT SO MANY THINGS by Sam and Joe Calleran (Dead Ghost) Here is a humorous Deck of Many Things created by my brother, Sam, for his Rottville and Beyond campaign (home of the dreaded Octalich, an undead gargantuan octapus spellcaster of unimagined power. As the dreaded Octalich lives underwater, all its spells are somatic in nature, thus it could cast 4 spells (8 arms / 2 arms per spell) simultaniusly....). MAJOR PLAQUES Moon (KD) Gain a useless miscellaneous magic item and 57 experience points. Roll on the table below: 01-10 Floating boat -- normal small rowboat , upon command it will float. 11-17 Boots of Walking -- allow wearer walk as if he or she had two legs (note: wearer must have two legs to use the boots). 18-27 Broom of Sweeping -- sweeps upon command. 28-38 Cloak of Placement -- makes you appear where you are (note: negates Cloak of Displacement if worn together). 39-45 Decanter of Limited Water -- holds two gallons. 46-54 Eyes of the Bat -- makes wearer blind. 55-62 Keoghtom's Cough Syrup -- cures all coughs (note: will negate Dust of Sneezing and Choking). 63-70 Rug of Wiping -- removes all dirt from user's shoes. 71-84 Trident of Goldfish Command -- 1' radius (yes, that's one foot radius), goldfish get saving throw. 85-98 Wings of Walking -- allow user to walk if arms are flapped. (note: not flapping arms also allows normal walking). 99 All of preceding stuff. 00 Another Deck of Not So Many Things. Sun (QD) You are granted one Wish (Wish 1/2 [see Dragon # 120]). The Black Hole (JD) Immediately gain 2 points on your most useless ability. Coward (2D) Do not defeat next monster you meet and gain a level (i.e. you must loose to or flee from the next monster you meet to gain the level). Chair (KH) Loose one point of intellegence and gain a small dairy farm (3 acres). Lock (QH) Gain a map to your house (Note: when the character returns home, all the locks have been changed and are locked). Peasant (JH) Gain the service in your next tennis match. Rock (2H) Gain fifty neat rocks, worth 2 cp each. The Void (KC) Gain a IOU for 50,000 gp that has been voided. Flames (QC) Enmity between you and the milkman. Spine (JC) Defeat yourself or die (c.f. Mirror of Opposition). Ruin (2C) All magic items fall to the floor. Talons (KS) Immediately lose one square foot of real property and one copper piece. Crust (QS) -3 on saving throws vs. pies (1 pie appears , save vs petrification or take 1d1 points of damage). Rogue (JS) One of your pet gophers turns against you (note: if no gophers are owned 1d6+1 appear and follow character). Scale (2S) Change alignment or be hit upside the head for 1d3 points of damage. Fool (J) Gain 13 experience points and one hit point. Zagyg (J with trademark) Laugh uncontrollably for 3 turns. Professor (AD) Know incorrect answer to next math problem. The Big Dummy (AC) Gain two points of intelligence. Fates (AH) Avoid Duties, Excises, Fees, Tariffs, Taxes, Tithes, and Tolls twice (c.f. First Edition DMG pg 90). The Resort (AS) Large iron cage surrounds character. Cannot get out without help. MINOR PLAQUES (3S) Dancing lights appear and character is fascinated for one turn. (4S) Defeat next duck you meet or die. (5S) A valley girl appears and drawer is forced to listen to her for three turns. (6S) Run in place for six rounds. (7S) Defeat Death or live. (8S) You disagree with anything anyone says for six turns. (9S) Party Fight: Party fights for 1d4 rounds. (10S) You agree with anything anyone says for six turns. (3D) An aspiring dwarf bard appears. You are forced to listen for six turns. (4D) You gain an autographed picture of Zagyg. (5D) An aspiring dwarf bard appears. You are forced to sing along for 1d4 turns. (6D) You gain the autobiography of an aspiring dwarf bard, written in Dwarvish. (7D) Gain 1d4 food gift certificates (each equiviliant to one Hero's Feast cast by a 14th level cleric). (8D) Gain 1d6 insanities. (9D) All your hair falls out. (10D) Your dog follows you on the adventure (if you don't have one, you do now). (3C) Three clubs appear and hit you for 3-18 points of damage. (4C) You hate all cows and must attack one on sight. (5C) Gain a map to the nearest bathroom. (6C) Talk about nothing for 1d12 rounds. (7C) Gain a seven leaf clover. (8C) Flee in terror at the sight of any cow. (9C) You are allergic to women. (10C) The Party turns around and goes home for six turns. (3H) The Party forgets what they are doing, spend 1d6 rounds figuring it out. (4H) Gain a Zagyg action figure. (5H) Gain five tickets to the next aspiring dwarf bard show. (6H) Gain new boots. (7H) Gain a nonmagical dagger of your choice. (8H) Character gains a lead minature of himself. (9H) Character hates violence. (10H) Character is hit once by every weapon on the Player's Screen (Zagyg will Resurrect any character slain by this plaque). -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Post any comments or E-mail me at the below address. ---------------------------------------------------------- - Dead Ghost aka Joe Colleran - - jnc4p@virginia.edu - - sig files, We don't need no stinkin' sig files!! - ----------------------------------------------------------